Invicta Vlogs
The importance of facing your fears
Fear is a natural, powerful and primitive human emotion. The body has a natural ‘flight or fight’ response when placed in scenarios which could potentially result in causing you harm and the way in which people react to this fear can be very different. For some, facing fears can seem appealing, acting as a source of adrenaline whilst for others, the idea of facing their biggest fear seems daunting and inconceivable. Fear presents itself differently for every person as what scares another person also differs. From confined spaces to clowns to heights, fear can completely overwhelm someone as your heart rate starts to build, heart pounding loud against your ribcage and your breathing starts to quicken. It feels as if there is someone sitting in your brain telling you not to do it, shouting danger and the individual chooses whether or not to listen to the bully.
For me, I always thought my biggest fear was heights. I vividly remember as a child visiting London and looking up at all the tall skyscrapers towering over me and my stomach would sink. I felt so small and insignificant compared to such vast structures and it scared me how I was merely a speck of dust compared to the size of the universe. I have never shied away from the opportunity to face this fear, whether that be by going on one of the scariest water slides in the world to skydiving and going on rollercoasters, I thrived from the adrenaline rush tackling my fear gave me.
I remember how long it took for me to face my fear. I had climbed up the many flights of stairs to reach the Leap of Faith waterslide that went into a pool of sharks, and I genuinely thought I wasn’t strong or brave enough to tackle it. My twin brother went down the ride before me and when it finally reached my turn, I sat on the slide and got straight back up as I saw how steep the drop was and after hearing everyone’s screams. I remember being embarrassed as I waited up with the lifeguard as countless people went after me and took my place. I even encouraged and supported other people who were scared to go down despite feeling like I was a coward for not doing it myself. I remember my hands shaking and someone in my head bullying me, calling me weak and a chicken for not being able to go on the ride. The voice seemed as if it was shouting at me and at times, the voice seemed impossible to silence. However, the rational part of my brain tried to remind me that this was a once in a lifetime experience and the only opportunity I would get to complete something on my bucket list and somehow, I managed to silence the voice enough to go down. And once I had gone on the water slide, I went on it again straight afterwards. This mindset also helped carry me through my skydive and other similar experiences. I can’t begin to describe how amazing it felt once I was able to say that I had actually completed activities that scared me to my core.
However, as much as I may make it seem easy tackling my fears and how obviously not everyone who is scared of heights can magically jump out of a plane and their fear will be fixed, I still struggle with my fears all the time. A fear that has continuously presented itself which I think is important to talk about is the fear of failure. I am someone who somewhat views their academic success as a reflection of how successful they are in life and who they are as a human being. I take every failure or struggle I have academically to heart, feeling a constant urge to better myself and never being content.
This has been one of my biggest problems for the last few years and it has resulted in my self-confidence diminishing. I think it is just as important to talk about your failures as your successes. I remember being unhappy about one maths test I had completed a few years ago which triggered a panic attack where I broke down in front of an entire class of students. Although the result I achieved was not particularly bad, it did not match the standard I expected for myself and was not as good as the usual quality of work I produced which massively set me back. Although it was only one test, it led to a year of me being unable to sleep properly each night as I would bully myself every single night about doing badly on the test which would then lead to me failing every test after that. It wasn’t until my teacher spoke to me and said that it doesn’t matter what I get on the next test but to remain calm and try my best and she knew I was a strong student that I was finally able to knock the trend and produce a result that I was happy with.
But this one failure sticks with me just as much as some of my successes. It was not the last failure I had either as I put too much pressure on myself to do well that occasionally I explode, especially when it comes to exams. Although before each exam, I constantly try to help others by telling them how exams are simply practice and not a reflection of who you are as a human being and do not equate to your worth, somehow, I struggle to take my own advice. I don’t think the fear of failure is something that I will truly ever be able to tackle – it is engrained so deeply within me as a person that I know I can never get rid of it. However, although I have the odd slip up like my recent exam, I have found more coping mechanisms as time has progressed to help manage my fear.
Before my exams, I have found going to the gym and getting exercise as a good coping mechanism at releasing any pent-up feelings and focusing on something else for a while as I normally find relaxing and switching off particularly challenging. I would advise anyone who has faced similar problems to try your hardest to find a coping mechanism – whether that be a hobby, going for a walk or listening to music and prioritising this, even if it means starting your revision or any tasks you need to complete slightly later than you initially intended.
The importance of having good mental health cannot be stressed highly enough, especially when the workload feels overwhelming at times and please do not ever be afraid to ask for help. I often struggle to speak to teachers when I have a lot of tasks to do and I am under a lot of pressure as I feel as if it is admitting defeat and a sign of weakness, however, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Every time I have been struggling, my teachers have reached out and supported me and offered me more flexibility to relieve some of my workload and I cannot thank them enough.
Although I do not stress enough that facing your fears can be one of the most rewarding experiences, I have ultimately found that managing your fears that cannot be conquered is just as important to stop yourself from being overwhelmed. If you take anything from this blog, I want it to be the importance of prioritising and asking for help. These tasks seem simple but in reality, take a lot of strength and resilience but once you do, I can assure you that you will not regret it. Thank you so much and if you ever want someone to talk to or want to reach out, I am always available to listen.
Ella Waghorn
Senior Prefect
