Invicta Vlogs
Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection
“An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women, women will only apply if they meet 100% of the qualifications.” What does this say about the attitudes of women in our society? I think that this statistic proves significantly how women have a sole focus on perfection in life.
Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code, spoke at a TED Event, in 2016. She explained how, as children, people are raised differently, based on their sex, with women being brought up to be perfect, and boys being taught to be brave. I believe this should not be the case.
Saujani’s aim was to inspire more women into STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) professions. She started a company, Girls Who Code, which provides females with the opportunity to learn how to code. She explains the profession as “an endless process of trial and error” - something which may deter women. But her programme has been nothing short of a success. In 2012, it taught 20 girls the steps of coding, and the following year, it taught 40,000 girls across all 50 states.
Talking about the problems that society face as a result of the desire for perfection from women, Saujani states that the socialisation of perfection has caused us to take less risks in our careers. This can only limit us in our research, our development, and the innovations which could happen, don’t - all because women are socialised to be perfect, instead of brave. Imagine how different our daily lives could be if women took more risks; if they were daring and were brave. Imagine what life would be if women did not fear failure and stepped out of their comfort zone.
Teaching girls bravery is not easy; this is because they feel alone, and the only way to stop this, is to combine bravery with a sense of community. We must let girls know that we are working together, and as Saujani said, “we cannot leave behind half our population”.
Bravery requires a growth mindset, and this is where the problem stems from. When girls are commended, they are told they are “smart” or “intelligent”. However, boys are commended for “trying hard”, providing girls with more of a fixed mindset, meaning that they avoid challenges, and will only try something if they know that perfection is guaranteed. It requires self-compassion. This is something so difficult to combine with perfection, because the mindset of a female instantly relates failure to a lack of self-worth, and even if there is success, women will still put pressure on themselves, therefore proving that there is no self-praise. The way in which we can incorporate self-compassion is to take a moment to embrace the emotions we are feeling. What is our mind saying? Help yourself understand your feelings, before putting yourself in a fixed mindset position that you are not good enough, because you are good enough.
“Companies are in desperate need of innovation and talented people who are capable of solving global, complex problems. We are leaving a lot on the corporate table by not bringing enough women along for the ride, and that starts by telling girls that being brave is more valuable than being perfect.”
The problem of perfection needs to be eradicated, quickly. We are limiting our lives by living in fear of failure, and this should not be happening. Girls, “They will be loved, not for being perfect, but for being courageous”
Please do take the time to watch Reshma Saujani’s talk. It is so very inspiring, and something I truly believe is preached at Invicta. I have not been taught to be perfect; I have been taught to be brave, daring, and I have been encouraged.
https://www.ted.com/talks/reshma_saujani_teach_girls_bravery_not_perfection?language=en
Francesca Whetstone
Head Girl
